A man came into my work the other day and said, “ I’m going to sign something for you, it’s going to be famous one day.” My initial thought was that he must be crazy, but possibly he was just that certain of his future. I wonder what it must feel like to be so confident in your path and abilities that you pass out small drawings with a signature, trusting others to keep it and remember your name.
I envy that confidence the same way I envy those with devout faith. In ways I believe it’s foolish, but at the same time I admire it. People with such loyalty to religion are so sure of their path in life, believing that G-d leads the way, all they must do is follow His word, His signs. Even if they are going through a rough time, they always have hope and conviction that it is all part of some plan; even if they don’t love life at the moment, they are serving the greater good by living through the lord’s light (or something like that).
I hope that in my time of uncertainty I’d have somewhere to turn to for answers, but for now I work on building that response within myself. Become my own light if you will.
However, I still pause every time someone asks what I do.
Do I tell them I’m writer even though I’ve never been published (or even really shared my work)? Do I say I’m a barista because that is how I make my money? Do I say I am a college dropout because that is the decision that lead me to this limbo in my life? Sometimes I think I should say I’m just doing me, because working on myself is the only work that matters at the end of the day, isn’t it?
Healthy Reminder: It’s perfectly fine to not be sure of your path in life. Nothing is set in stone.